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The Butterguy Effect (Genderbent The Butterfly Effect)
The Fallowing is a Genderbent version of The Butterfly Effect. Story scene opens up to an outside view of the Loud House on a sunny day; Linka leaps out of her room to perform for the audience. Linka: "Watch in awe, as The Amazing Linka displays her unbelievable yo-yo skills! I shall now "walk the dog"!" enters the scene, carrying a leash in her mouth. Linka: "Not you, Charlotte. I meant the yo-yo." whimpers, and she walks out of the scene; Linka does her "walk the dog" trick. Linka: "I shall now go "AROUND THE WORLD"!" enters the scene, carrying a suitcase. Linka: "Sorry, still talking about the yo-yo." whimpers, and she walks out of the scene; Linka attempts to do the "around the world" trick, but the yo-yo flies off her finger, ricochets around the hallway, and flies into Levi and Leon’s room, causing a crash. Linka: *''nervous* "Uh, The Amazing Linka will now take a brief intermission." ''and Charlotte look in the room, and notice that the bottles on Levi’s desk have been broken, and their contents are spilled. Linka: "Yikes. I better go tell Levi." into Linka’s imagination, where Levi sees the damage in a dark, stylized environment. Levi: *''turning red with anger, with his teeth sharpened. *'' "You've completely DESTROYED MY LIFE'S WORK! I DESPISE YOU, AND YOU NO LONGER EXIST TO ME!" wall of fire burns in the background behind his, along with a cultist choir, as the scene flashes back to Linka. Linka: "Yeah, I'm not telling Levi." Charlotte: *''whimpers*'' Linka: "Oh, come on, Charlotte. When did you get a conscience? I've seen you poop on the couch! Besides, if I just walks away, what's the worst that can happen?" takes a glance at the viewers; Linka takes the yo-yo from the damage. Linka: "I'll just remove the evidence, and they'll be none the wiser." and Charlotte walk out of the room; a drop of one chemical falls into a puddle of another chemical, causing an explosion that raises the roof. to Levi, who is examining the damage on his desk. Levi: "I don't understand what went wrong. Science is a fickle mistress." is looking over a hole in the wall causes by the explosion, which leads to the closet in his and Loni’s room; Loni pokes his head through the hole. Loni: "Hi, Loki! Have we always had a window in our closet?" Loki: "Ugh, it's not a window. Levi’s experiment blew a hole in the wall." *''notices a picture frame peeking out from the other side.* "What's this?" ''sees that the frame contains a signed photo of Bebe. Loki: "'To my bodacious babe'? Loni, why is this picture Bebe hidden on your side of the closet?" Loni: "Oh, there it is! That was a surprise present from Bebe for your 88-day-iversary. She asked me to hide it for her, but I forgot where I put it." Loki: *groans* "That anniversary was eight days ago, and Bebe gave me socks! I can't believe this! You're literally seeing Bebe behind my back! You are no longer my brother!" Linka: *''walks into the room* "Everything okay after that unexpected and totally random explosion that I know nothing about?" ''shouts in anger, marches out of the room, and slams the door; a coat rack in the closet falls and hits Loni on the head, knocking him out; a shelf also tips over, causing several pairs of shoes to fall on him. opens his eyes and regains consciousness on Levi’s bed; Linka and Levi are looking down on him. Loni: "What happened?" Linka: "A shelf fell on your head." Loni: "Of course! Everyone knows that an object falling at a velocity of 9.8 meters per second squared will result in a temporary loss of consciousness." Levi: "I knew that. The question is, how did you?" Linka: "Hey, I saw this in a movie once. I bet getting hit on the head altered Loni’s brain and made him smart." Levi: "Linka, you seem unable to distinguish between scientific fact and preposterous Hollywood schlock." Loni: "I don't get it." Levi: "You see? The same old Loni. Can't even understand simple English." Loni: *walks over to Levi’s chalkboard, which contains a complex equation.* "No, I don't get why you multiplied your "Z" polynomials before solving your non-negative integer exponents." looks over the equation, and gasps loudly as he realizes that Loni is right. Loni: "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to disprove Newtonian physics. Buh-bye!" Levi: *''collapses to the floor, devastated*''" My world no longer makes sense." looks up and growls at Linka. Linka: "Don't you have a couch to poop on?" to Linka finishing cleaning up the couch. Linka: "Charlotte, that was a rhetorical question!" enters the house, screams loudly, and pounds his fist against the wall; he hyperventilates as Linka walks up to him. Linka: "What are you so upset about?" Lynn: "I just got kicked off all my sports teams because I'm failing school!" Linka: "How could you fail? Doesn't Levi tutor you?" Lynn: "He used to, until he dropped out and got a job as a gas station attendant at Flow’s Food & Fuel." Linka: "He WHAT?!" Lynn: "UGH, WITHOUT SPORTS, MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS!" his soccer ball hard Lexx: *''walks down the stairs* "I present to you your new "Mr Cute and--" ''ball hits him in the face "OH, MY NOSE!" looks into a mirror, and sees that his nose has severely swollen up. Lexx: *''gasps*'' "I am a hideous... monster." Linka: "It’s not that bad, Lexx." Lexx: "MY PAGEANT CAREER IS OVER!" runs up the stairs, and he trips and falls on his face when he reaches the top. Lexx: "OH, MY TEETH!" *''cries*'' looks up at Linka, and she shakes her head in disapproval. Linka: "*sighs* Fine, I'll fix it." rides her bike over to Flow’s Food & Fuel, and she sees Levi wearing a gas station attendant's uniform. Linka: "Levi, why are you doing this?" Levi: "Flow’s the only girl who will hire four-year-olds with no experience." Linka: "No, I mean, why are you doing any of this? Come home. Lynn needs you!" Levi: "Why don't you get Mr. Smartypants to help him!" drives up in a purple convertible. "Speak of the Devil. Regular or unleaded? Loni: *draws out a certificate* "Oh, I don't need gas. I just won the Nobel Prize for inventing a car that runs on apple juice." Levi: "Of course you did." Loni: *''hands Levi a juice box*'' "Fill 'er up, please." opens up the fuel tank, and squirts the box's contents into it. Linka: "And then we'll all get in Loni’s juicemobile, go home, and forget about this nonsense." Loni: "Can't! I'm off to Harvard! Au revoir, adios, auf Wiedersehen, and aloha!" Levi: "A-HA! "Aloha" means "Hello"!" Loni: "It also means "Goodbye"!" *''speeds off*'' Levi: "Dang it. I used to know that." the owner of the station, opens a window and calls out to Levi. Flow: "Hey, Chatty Carey, BACK TO WORK!" station's pay phone rings; Linka answers it and hears barking on the other side. Linka: "Hello? Charlotte? He’s WHAT?! Alright, I'm on my way!" enters Lexx’s room; holding an ice pack. Linka: "Look who it is, Mr. Soon-to-heal." who is trying to stuff a bunch of clothes into a suitcase, turns to Linka; he still has his swollen nose, and all except for one of his teeth are gone. Lexx: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Linka: "AAAAAHHH! I mean, you're looking better!" Lexx: *''with a lisp* "Oh, nice try, Linka, but I am ''out of ''here! I can't stay where I'm constantly reminded of my former self!" *''looks, sadly, up at old photos of himself. * ''"My beautiful, beautiful self." '''Linka:' "But... But..." struggles to pull his stuffed suitcase, and the handle breaks off, causing him to fall on his face and black both his eyes. Lexx: "I'll send for this!" *''grabs the ice pack, puts it over his eyes; and walks out into the hallway. *'' Linka: "Lexx, wait!" tries to run for him, but she bumps into a plastic bubble with Leif in it. Leif: "Careful, Linka! You could get seriously injured!" Linka: "Leif, what are you doing in there?" Leif: "I saw what happened to Lexx. Life is a fragile thing. I don't want to take any risks." Linka: "But you're the king ''of risks!" '''Leif:' "Was the king of risks! From now on, I'll stay in here, where it's safe! You know what I'm talkin' about, huh, Gia?" rolls by in her hamster ball. Linka: "Leif, you can't be serious!" rolls past her. "Leif?!" suddenly hears Lukes singing. Luke: *''singing* "Things have gotten drastic. Now, my brother lives in plastic. Where did it all go wrong?" '''Linka:' "Luke?" Luke: *''shows Linka a laptop*'' "Check it, sis. I uploaded a song I wrote about our family going down the Highway to--HELLO! I just got fifty more hits!" ceiling breaks open, and Marge Swagger descends, holding onto a rope ladder from a helicopter. Luke: *''gasps*'' "Marge Swagger?!" Marge: "Your singing is amazing! You gotta join my tour"! *''holds Luke’s hand*'' Luke: "Luke is IN!" rope goes up through the hole in the ceiling, carrying away both. Linka: "Don't you leave, too! THE FAMILY'S FALLING APART!" Luke: *from the helicopter* "SORRY, DUDE!" helicopter flies away. goes into her room, and she decides to call Clare with her walkie-talkie. Linka: "Clare, this is Linka! Come in! I've got a Code Blue!" screen splits in half to show Clare’s location. Clare: "Code Blue?! You did something wrong and lied about it, and now everything is all messed up?!" Linka: "Affirmative! Can you come over?!" Clare: "Negative. I've got a Code Green!" Linka: "You showed up to school in your underwear?" Clare: "No, that's Code Orange? Hang on." is revealed that Clare is skydiving with Loki, and she takes a picture of each other with her camera phone; Linka gets the picture by text message on her phone, and she jumps up in surprise. Linka: "SWEET MOTHER OF...What are you doing with Loki?!" Clare: "I've been trying to tell you! A Code Green; Loki broke up with Bebe, and I'm the rebound girl!" Loki: "Happy eight-minute-iversary, Snookie-Booboo-Sugarbear." leans in for a kiss, but Loki releases his parachute, causing Clare to kiss a flying bird instead. Linka: *gags and throws away the walkie-talkie.* "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FAMILY?!" shows up, with a serious look, and knocks on Linka door. Lane: "Knock-knock." Linka: "Who's there?" Lane: "This is not a joke, Linka. Do you know what's going on in the world? Here, take Ms. Coconuts. She just reminds me of all the trees that are being cut down in the rainforest." Linka: "Wait, Lane, what brought this on?" Lane: "Well, ever since Luke left, I've had no one to try my jokes out on. So, I've been watching a lot of cable news, and what I've seen is horrific. So, I've decided to become... an ACTIVIST!" Linka: "Don't be ridiculous! You're a comedian!" *''takes out a pie and throws it into her face. *'' "See? Funny, right?" mod of wild animals stampedes past Linka. Linka: "What the heck was that?!" Lane: "They're just Leif’s pets. I liberated them. And now, I'm off to heal this ticking time bomb we call Earth." Linka: "Wait, Lane, you can't be serious!" monkey appears, spooking Linka, and it takes Ms. Coconuts. monkey and a big snake are in the living room; Linka chases Izzy, who is hiding under the couch. Linka: "Get back here, Izzy!" snake hisses at her, and hides behind the couch. Linka: "Izzy, come to Aunt Linka!" News Reporter: *''on the TV* "And now, for tonight's top stories. Former rising star Luke Loud was kicked off the Marge Swagger tour for destroying a hotel room." ''news cut to footage of Luke screaming amidst the wreckage of his hotel room. Luke: *''in a British accent* "ALL I WANTED WAS A BLEEDING ''PILLOW MINT!" Linka: "Luke?" News Reporter: "In a related story, former comedian turned activist Lane Loud has chained himself to a giant redwood tree." news cuts to footage of Lane chained to a giant redwood tree, while witnesses record him with their mobile devices. Lane: *''chanting* "Hey-hey, ho-ho! Keep your hands off, let it grow!" '''Linka:' "Lane?!" the snake, and the monkey join her in viewing. News Reporter: "I'm being told we have breaking news." Linka: "Please don't be one of my brothers!" news cuts to a reporter on the scene at Flow’s Food & Fuel, with Levi drinking a "Flowpee" ice drink right next to him. Reporter 2: "Tucker, I'm here at Flow’s Food & Fuel, where two unknown bandits have just made off with a carload of beef jerky and a cotton candy machine!" Levi: "They're not unknown, they're my brothers." *''sips*'' "Their betrayal hurts more than this brain freeze." Reporter 2: "I'm getting word that the bandits are currently leading police on a slow-speed chase!" to an army of police cars chasing Lexx's kiddie car through the desert; Lexx, with his face now covered in bandages, is driving, while Lynn is in the passenger seat, eating cotton candy. and the animals look on in shock; Izzy, Linka, and the monkey take on the classic frighten poses. Linka: "WHERE DID IT ALL GO WROOOONG?!" News Reporter: "One has to wonder, where did it all go wrong for these boys? And why is a four-year-old working at a gas station?" takes hold of the camera. Flow: "Interview over! Wait, don't forget to come down to Flow’s Food & Fuel, home of the Flowpee! Now the interview's over." *''puts her hand over the camera. *'' turns off the TV; suddenly Lars appears next to her. Lars: "I was watching that." Linka: *''screams and jumps up in terror* "Lars! At least ''you're still normal!" looks toward Linka, then smiles wide revealing a pair of vampire like fangs as he hisses. Linka: "D'AAH! NOT NORMAL!" Lars: I was bitten by Leif’s liberated vampire bat! Greatest! Day! EVER!" *''turns into a bat and flies away. *'' Linka: "Nine brothers lost, but there's still one I can save!" enters Levi’s and Leon’s room, and she looks into Leon’s crib, but he is not in it. Linka: "Leon?" roof is lifted up from outside by Leon, who grown into a giant; he looks down at Linka, and he giggles. Linka: "LEON!" sees a trail of Levi’s chemicals leading from his desk to the crib. Linka: "Oh no, Levi’s chemicals! What have I done?!" Leon: "Mmmm... yum yum!" reaches down for Linka as she tries to run away, but gets caught, and Leon opens his mouth. Linka: "DON'T EAT ME, LEON!" screams as Leon lifts her toward his mouth; her open mouth fills the camera, turning the screen black. screen flashes back to the point where Linka and Charlotte were ignoring the damage on Levi’s desk. Linka: "Oh. So that's the worst thing that could happen." Charlotte: *''barks*'' Linka: "I totally agree! I'm going to tell Levi!" Levi: *''in the doorway*'' "Tell Levi what?" *''gasps as he sees the damage.*'' Linka: *''in fear*'' "I was playing with my yo-yo, and it got out of control, and it wrecked your experiment, and I'm really, really sorry! Go ahead and disown me, cause I deserve it!" smiles, and hugs Linka. Linka: "I'm confused. You're not mad?" Levi: "Mad? I'm ecstatic! You proved my hypothesis! Your recklessness was the one variable my rigidly-controlled experiment sorely needed!" Linka: "Still confused." Levi: "I'm saying thank you for being a clumsy doofus. And thanks for admitting what you did." Linka: "I didn't have a choice. I didn't want you to work at a gas station, or Lynn and Lexx to turn to a life of crime, or Leif to live in a bubble, or...or...or..." Levi: *''walking away* "Fascinating. Exposure to my chemicals seems to have damaged her cerebral cortex." '''Linka:' *''sighs and looks at the audience* "Boy, am I glad that nightmare's over." ''hears a bicycle bell ringing from outside. She looks out and sees Loki, and Clare riding a tandem bike, which is dragging a string of cans and a sign reading "JUST MARRIED". This causes Linka to scream in fear. Trivia * Tip; confese your sins. Otherwise the guilt will go to your head. * The original script was writen by Kevin Sullivan. * Please support the offical release.